August 2010
20 posts
Distrature →
I don’t know if this should be scored for Urban Dictionary, for the net, for the English language or human creativity in general.
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closing a door
First, he came for the spiders. She was afraid of spiders and we praised him. Then, he eliminated the ladybugs. A handful were rescued from his maw and shooed discreetly out the window. Now, he rarely has anything besides his pal Pip to chew on. When I saw him wildly leaping after a rare misguided housefly the other day, I realized that I need to start leaving a window cracked to attract more...
english language fail
I could really use a second-person plural pronoun better than y’all or you guys in my current correspondences. Yinz and youse won’t cut it either.
Hey, what was in that shit, man? →
I was 13 when my Mom first made me watch Up in Smoke. While other kids were still quoting Ace Ventura, my sisters and I were doing Cheech & Chong. If only the US would adopt sensible hemp laws, perhaps I’d look into car ownership again more seriously.
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turning the tables
My sisters were driving into Boston to help with some preliminary packing and then whisking me off to the ancestral homeland for a big family cookout. I’d asked them to call when they hit the road, but as usual, there was no warning. With the late jump, I had to make haste to beat them home.
Ordinarily, I do not pass on the right despite it being within my legal rights as a cyclist....
when I dropped Jack off at Riverdog, I warned them...
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